I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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