i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
