3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I cockslap morals
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
