you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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