There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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