do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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