I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
