My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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