I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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