did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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