Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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