Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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