Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
