so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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