You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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