i was born a porn star she said
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
