Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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