Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
NoShamevember. You game?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
