just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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