i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
