he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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