Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
