Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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