"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
