Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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