I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
