Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
