aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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