Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
