put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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