You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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