maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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