So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you traded sex for a burrito?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize