His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My vagina just clenched in fear
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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