I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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