I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
