you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You pole danced in your parka.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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