Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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