so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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