We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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