We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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