i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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