small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
