He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
