I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Soap is not a condiment
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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