he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think I sprained my soul last night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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