i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
