Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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