Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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