good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
