I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Never underestimate the power of titties
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
