you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
