You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
