I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
