that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
