Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
